Universally you hear of individuals searching for happiness. Countless times each of us has heard the statement, “I just want to be happy”. When asked what happiness means however, quite often only quizzical stares are returned. Most people know that they want happiness, yet never really ask themselves what that really means. I believe that what we are really looking for is meaning and when we start to find it, an unintended side effect of joy starts to simmer and over time grows to a full boil - a joy that nothing outside of us can take away. As stated by Vikor E. Frankl, “life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”
If I hear from someone, they want a certain type of car or a specific type of house or once they get that promotion, THEN they will be happy, I know they are on the wrong road to lasting happiness. This is what I call conditional happiness based on false meaning and is why they have not found the happiness they are looking for; TRUE MEANING IS THE PATH TO HAPPINESS.
"Why am I not content with all that is for me today" is the question that needs to be answered. When the question of happiness is examined in this manner, most people find that what they are looking for “out there in the universe” is what they need to establish within themselves. As an example, that promotion will "prove to the world that I am worthy", that "I am intelligent", that "I demand respect"; however, that promotion will never bring about those gifts until those gifts are provided to the self first. It will only be false meaning with limited happiness. Happiness is not a destination, it is a result.
So what are the questions that we should be asking in order to achieve TRUE MEANING in our lives? Let me start by asking what this Viktor E. Frank quote means to you: “those who have a why to live, can bear with almost any how”?
So what is your answer to this? Why are you living? What is your purpose? Because if you are living, you have a purpose and a purpose that is beyond yourself.
If you are not getting the results you have been hoping for, your thoughts are quite likely holding you back. So how do you know?
Awareness is key. The average adult has 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day – some powerful programing is going on outside of your awareness! That very programming is likely sabotaging your goals.
There are five main brain wave frequencies, all of which represent different levels of awareness. They are: Gamma, which is involved in higher processing tasks; Beta, which is awake and alert; Alpha, which is very relaxed or meditating; Theta, which is like a light sleep or equivalent to hypnosis; and lastly Delta, which is deep sleep. During the first seven years of our lives, our brains function predominantly in the Theta state, which as noted is equivalent to hypnosis. Why is this significant? It is because the bulk of our learning which takes place during this time is learned from those closest to us such as parents and siblings. Like a sponge, we absorb all the attitudes, beliefs and ways of being in the world of those closest to us. During our early years, the cognitive abilities of higher order thinking, such as comparison, evaluation, and problem solving, have not developed therefore, whatever is learned is accepted at face value. This learning forms a template, which is the basis for how we make sense of people and the world.
A common example is children raised in a home in which financial success was frowned upon. Children hear: "money changes people for the worst", "money is the root of all evil", "You can't be rich and spiritual" etc. Children adopt this mindset, and as adults find themselves struggling with the same issues with money that their parents did. A core belief and accompanying emotion has been developed in the subconscious that is guiding behaviour. Through the years it is repeatedly reinforced.
Most of our core beliefs remain hidden unless we look for them. This is where AWARENESS comes in. Whatever part of your life that you would like to instigate change in, start LISTENING carefully to your thoughts. Are they supporting and affirming what you are working towards or are they in opposition. Is there a discrepancy between the two. Using the example of money, do you affirm to yourself that you can double your income but when you listen to your self talk what you hear is: "money is the root of all evil". Powerful subconscious programming from our youth is often what highjacks attainment of our true desires, sending us on the same dead end pathway? Only through awareness can you begin to change your way of being in the world.
Once there is awareness, the core beliefs that are not serving you can be altered in order to support your goals in life. Clinical EFT has been proven to be one of the quickest and most effective methods to alter these powerful subconscious programs.